Best Gift Ever!
by lostcard
Summary: Birthday fic time! Nami makes Law an offer he cannot refuse: a map that will lead them to the ancient treasure Hand of Azo. But will this adventure lead them to treasure or trouble? And what does the Heart Pirates have to do with anything? Beware of dark humor and vulgar language, dammit! Happy Birthday Dr. Heart Stealer!


**Best Gift Ever!**

Trafalgar Law had to admit the day started off rather pleasant. It was a rare occasion ever since starting the "Pirate Alliance" with the Strawhats. He had a very charming dream the night before. The dream mostly consisted of him dismembering each and every member of that pirate crew. It explained why he probably woke up in such a good mood. The simple thought of the Strawhats in bits and pieces brought him so much joy. It kept him in good spirits until he heard a loud boom coming from out side. The childish laugher that followed only fueled his annoyance. It was a faithful reminder that he was still onboard of the ship of most nerve-racking pirate captain known to man.

His tattooed hands feathered over his prized possession. It was a normal morning routine to make sure nothing of importance was missing. No matter how foolish the Strawhats appeared, they were still pirates and Law made sure to never let his guard down. Everything seemed to appear in order. The Surgeon of Death couldn't help but feel a small tug at his heart as he reached for the folded piece of paper in his jacket's pocket. This wasn't some ordinary piece of paper, it was a piece of a vivre card. It was the vivre card that would lead him back to his crew. He didn't know why, but he was missing them more than usual. He had never been separated from his devoted crew for this long before. But it was a sacrifice he was willing to endure in order to achieve his ultimate goal. Law's train of thought was interrupted by a low knock at the door. The surgeon softly swore to himself. After nights of searching, Law had successfully found a secret sleeping spot that went unnoticed. Or so he thought. Apparently even that plan was foiled.

"Come in," answer the pirate doctor in a low growl.

Law silently hoped it was one of the more tolerable crewmembers.

He saw a head with long and wavy orange hair peeked in. It was Strawhat's navigator. Law felt a little hesitant about allowing this one in. The surgeon still didn't know what to make of the navigator. Sure, she was certainly one of the most intelligent members of the crew, but she was also pretty sneaky. Law had to keep his eye on this one.

"Are you awake?"

"And here I thought you actually had some sort of intelligence," jeered Law. "What does it look like?"

Nami couldn't help but puff up her cheeks in embarrassment.

"Hey! I was just making sure before stepping into the room," growled Nami "No need to be so rude about it!"

"I don't have time to answer stupid question," replied Law. "Please state the purpose of your presence or leave."

Nami stepped into the room and quietly closed the door behind her. Law couldn't help but notice the movement of her body. There was definitely something mischievous behind those bold steps of hers.

"Well I though I would show you something you might find rather enticing," explained the orange-haired navigator. "If you're up for the challenge, that is."

Law could feel his jaw drop at this woman's forwardness. What on earth had gotten into this woman's vulgar head? Sure, it was normal for woman to fall in love with his handsome looks and charming ways, but he did not expect this from a member of Strawhat's crew. She was basically throwing herself at him. As much as he would love to take advance of the situation, business always came first.

"I appreciate the invitation," answered Law, adjusting the rim of his hat. "But I'm afraid this is not the time nor place to act on such affairs."

From the look on girl's face, she appeared to disapprove his remark. The Surgeon of Death really couldn't blame her. She was probably someone who rarely experienced this type of rejection. And for good reason too. Who could say "no" to that breathtaking body? Law had to admit he was crazy, but he wasn't a fool. With a sly smile and a playful pinch at her bare shoulder, the doctor couldn't help but give in a little.

"Listen, if things go well in Dressrosa, perhaps I will change my mind," added Law, running his fingers down her arm. "We can get a hotel room and act on this _enticing _offer."

In a matter of seconds, there was a flash of white light and burning sensation slashed across his face. The pirate doctor had succumbed to Nami's fist of fury.

"I'm not asking you to sleep with me, you pervert!" yelled Nami.

"My mistake," replied Law, rubbing his sore cheek.

That woman had one hell of a shot. Those punches of hers could put her Captain to shame.

"I have a treasure map that might interest you."

The doctor couldn't help but cough out a laugh. Surely this woman was not trying to lure him into some sort of treasure hunt for her benefit? Maybe she was a fool after all.

"Nice try, but I have no interest in such trivial matters."

"But you're a pirate, are you not?" argued Nami. "Shouldn't you jump at the very chance of treasure and adventure?"

"I am a pirate with a more acquired tasted, Nami-ya" explained Law. "I don't jump at the sight of just any old treasure map."

"How about treasure map leading to the Hand of Azo?"

Law couldn't help up choke. This was a treasure he had dreamt in finding ever since he was a young boy. How on earth could this woman obtain such a valuable map?

"You're lying!"

Nami smiled and let out a small laugh.

"Oh, I have your attention now, hmmm Traffy-kun?"

"This is impossible! How did you get your hands on such a map?"

"Let's just say it was a gift mailed to me from some devoted fans," answered Nami, giving him a playful wink.

"It's a trap," insisted Law.

"If it comes from my fans, it must be reliable," replied Nami, pulling the map from her pocket. "Anyways, even if it is, I know you can handle them."

"I see," noted the doctor. "So the truth comes out. You need me to protect you if find yourself in any sort of danger."

Before he had a chance to turn down the plan, the woman pulled one more card out from her sleeve.

"Come on, it will give you a chance to get off this ship," encouraged Nami, pulling at the Surgeon's jacket. "Unless you would rather spend the day with Luffy?"

Offer accepted!

* * *

Law could not decide whether or not agreeing to this treasure adventure was a huge mistake. They had already suffered through much of the terrain and things were not looking in their favor. Snakes, spiders, and bugs infested the small island. It was a hassle not to fall into some muddy wasteland. The thick fog made it difficult for them to stay on the right path.

"How much further?" asked Law, slicing their way through the tall swamp grasses.

"We are getting close, we just need to make it to the top of that mountain," explained Nami, looking down at the treasure map.

Law just sighed at the sight of the mountain. If this woman were to climb up such a summit on her own, it would certainly take all day. Placing his sword back into his scabbard, he handed the long katana to the woman. Nami looked confused accepting his precious "Kikoku".

"What do you want me to do with this?" asked the navigator.

"Just hold onto it," ordered Law, pulling Nami up into his arms.

Nami let out a small gasp as he carried her through the grass in such an embrace. Her legs were dangling from his right arm and his left arm help support her back as he stepped in front of the mountain.

"Room," called out Law.

He had enough energy to teleport the both of them to the top. Nami closed her eyes and let a little sigh. She was still not use to all this teleporting business. In a matter of seconds they had arrive. Putting Nami back down, Law couldn't help but notice some sort of presence in the cave before them. Grabbing the katana back, he gestured Nami to stand behind him. If there was an enemy in that cave, he was going to handle it. He could see a flicker of light within the cave. It was very possible someone was lighting a fuse for a bomb or some type of weapon.

"Come out and show yourself," commanded Law, pulling his blade out from his scabbard. "And I promise, this won't take long."

Law couldn't believe what he witnessed next. Those lights he saw earlier were in fact little candles on top of a cake. And out from the cave came out the most unexpected group of men.

"Happy Birthday, Captain!" cried the group of men.

Law was sure his jaw almost dropped to the floor. This was something completely unforeseen! His crew was supposed to be waiting for him Zou, not hiding in cave with a birthday cake and balloons in hand.

"W-what are you doing here?" coughed out the doctor.

The group of men smiled as they encircled Law and Nami

"Now Captain, don't be upset with us," explained Penguin. "We just had to see you!"

"You didn't really expect us to miss your birthday," added Shachi.

"Captain! I missed you!" cried out Bepo, grabbing Law into a bear-hug embrace.

The Surgeon of Death was in a tight place. Of course he missed his crew, but this was putting a damper on all his hard work.

"As much as I appreciate seeing all of your healthy faces," growled Law. "You guys are really fucking shit up for me right now!"

Nami couldn't help but notice the whole group of men blushing and swinging from side to side.

"Awwww Captain, you're too sweet!"

"I love you too, Captain!"

"You look better than ever, Captain!"

The navigator couldn't but laugh. The Heart Pirates could act just as foolish as Sanji when they were around their Captain.

"We promise to leave back to Zou," announced Shachi. "But let's just celebrate your birthday first."

Law agreed and walked up to the cake. With little effort, he blew all the candles out.

"Yay! Good job, Captain!" cheered his crew.

"What did you wish for?" asked Penguin.

"That you all sailed back to Zou immediately."

"Ha ha! Good one, Captain!" smiled Penguin, giving Law a pat in the back.

The Surgeon just let out a low growl.

"Awww, come on, Captain," insisted Shachi. "Let us give you our present first!"

"Fine," huffed the stubborn Captain.

He had to admit, he didn't want to see them go. But if they didn't leave soon, it could seriously mess with his plans.

"Alright, Bepo, give him the present!"

The bear looked from side to side and then slumped his head down.

"I forgot it on Zou."

"OMG! Bepo, why the hell would you do that!" screamed his crewmates.

"I'm sorry," whimpered the polar bear, crouching down in shame.

"Such a weak will!" cried out Shachi and Penguin.

"Awe, that's ok," assured Nami, giving the bear a pat on the head. "Just show me where the treasure is and everything will be just fine."

Law couldn't help but roll his eyes at the scene. The woman attempt to be so enduring was laughable. He couldn't help but remember her main objective in agreeing to this whole scenario: treasure.

"Treasure?" asked Bepo, lifting his head up.

"The Hand of Azo," reminded Nami. "You sent the map with the letter, remember?"

"Well…that map was just to get Captain to agree to come with you," answered Bepo.

Of course! It made perfect sense now. Bepo knew how much Law longed to find The Hand of Azo. It was the perfect diversion to get him to this spot. He had to commend his faith crewmate in remember such a detail. He was sure he had only mentioned The Hand of Azo once in their earlier years together. Bepo might have forgotten his present today, but in Law's eyes, his memory was all around golden.

"Well he's here, now where is the treasure," laughed Nami.

It was really difficult for this cat burglar to keep her cool about the whole situation and Law could tell right away. The pirate doctor couldn't help but relish this delicious moment.

"It was a fake treasure map," responded Bepo.

"Fake?" smiled Nami. She could feel a twitch underneath her left eye. "That's a joke right? You just playing around, correct?"

Shachi and Penguin could tell things could get really ugly quick between the two navigators if they didn't lighten up the mood.

"Bepo is just joking," assured Shachi. "Of course it's a real treasure map."

"That's right because the map lead you to the best treasure of all," explained Penguin. "Friends! There's nothing more valuable in this world than FRIENDSHIP!"

"You two need to shut the fuck up and show me where the treasure is," screamed Nami.

"Nami you're so cute when you're angry," giggled Shachi and Penguin.

With a flash of white light, Shachi and Penguin fell to the ground with huge pumps on their head.

"So you're telling me there's no treasure?" hissed Nami, pointing a finger at Bepo. "This was all a trick?!"

"Yup."

Nami fell to the ground screaming in horror. She was pulling her hair from side to side in despair. Bepo couldn't help put flinch at agonizing sight.

"Nooooooooo," cried the Strawhat's navigator. Tears of sorrow fell down her cheeks. "My heart is breaking! It's breaking!"

Bepo could feel his Captiain's hand on his shoulder. Taking a big gulp, he feared to turn around. Making their ally cry was probably not a good thing and he was sure to be punished for it.

"Captain, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Bepo," smiled Law, patting his navigator on the back. "I should be thanking you."

"Huh? Why?"

The polar bear was at a lost for words. Why would Captain be thanking him for such a thing? Law continued to smile as he watched Nami pound her fists into the muddy ground. It was a sign of pure defeat.

"Three words, Bepo," grinned Law. "Best gift ever."

* * *

_OMG! I didn't know if I would finish this in time but I did! Yes! High fives everyone! Another "Birthday fic" for my other fav character: Trafalgar Law. It is only fitting that I write him a birthday fic because I wrote Nami a birthday fic. And it's has a similar theme. Just in case you didn't notice ;3 One person's pain may be another person's…treasure? Ha ha! _

_Anyways, I've been super duper busy but I'll try and get a chapter out for one of my other fics. I'm half way through a chapter for "Fallen Kingdom", so hopefully I'll get a chapter out some time this month. Same with "Heart Hazard". I'll try my best to get them out to you asap. Thanks for your patience, everyone! Hugs!_

_Happy Birthday Dr. Heart Stealer!_

_Thank you for reading, faving, and reviewing! _


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